“I know there’s more than this, and I want it, yea I want it!”

Jesus, I’ve been told my whole life that there’s nothing more, this is as good as it gets, to this point but no further. But I’m here to tell you, I got to that point and truth in me cried out there’s MORE! There’s more!

And I know it is true now. Because I had it all, seemingly. But He pulled me out of it. And I was confused and disheartened. I did not understand, yet I said, Your will God, not mine. And He put me exactly where I thought I’d fail.

But I’ve had the most victory of my entire life in this place! I am stable! I am able to grow and learn and little hinders me, really. Thank You, Jesus. I have to seek You because I’m so hungry and nothing else satisfies. I know the lies now, they are lies that say buy this, buy that, have this, get this, strive for this. It’s the American dream, and Jesus, help me, help me to get over it.

I was not created to have fancy cars and houses, not if it means I forsake You and the passionate pursuit of You. I want nothing, no one else.  Only You.

The One I seek, the One my heart longs for.

As I was talking with two of my favorite people last night, one was talking about her childhood, raw and open. Of how she was dillusioned to think that women were sexual objects and how it led her on the path her life took. It was amazing, her openness. It was amazing and so wonderful to hear. Because it spoke greatly into my life.

And as she and the other person were talking about their past, I realized how blessed mine is. And how different. They were talking about age 15 and how awful these years were, and how their lives went into sin from that age on, until they were saved later. And then I stopped them and said, but you wanna hear about how different my past was?! And this is significant because these precious ones are my parents.

And they looked at me in eager expectation, and I said, 14 was the year where I realized I didn’t want to be like everyone else, go after what they were going after. The church didn’t want me, the world didn’t care, and in that place of being lost, I cried out to God to send me a bible study. I was far away from Him, but I prayed and cried out for a change.

And when I was 15, I joined a Christian dance team and there was a bible study before practice every week. And then, while I was still 15, I planned to go to Honduras on my first missions’ trip.

15 was an anointed year, praise God for His redemption! His grace! His power to change!

And why do I know why I won’t “be like my parents” have been? Because they are changing! God is NOT done with them yet! He’s not finished! Amazing things are happening, and they are just beginning! In my whole family…

I am not afraid of my past. God’s healed it and is healing it and He’s capable and so, so good.

In this season, I have every reason to be thankful with my whole heart and to be joyous in all things!! I proclaim it in my life!

 

God is our refuge and strong tower…

Jesus! You are so amazing! Thank You for this time of renewal! For feeling Your love so strongly….after not feeling it for a long time.

“Jesus, You’re the One I trust in for salvation, I put my faith in You.

Some trust in horses, some trust in chariots, I’m gonna trust in the name of the Lord, for in Him I am saved. All my hope, all my trust is in You. God is our refuge, our solid rock!”- live singing in the Spirit from the Prayer Room

Jesus, thank You for Your love at church today. We sang, “Oh how He loves us…I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of Your wind and mercy..”

Jesus, You are a hurricane of love.

“I will hide in the shelter of the Most High, I will hide in Your shadow…”

“You will defend me, You will fight for me. In Your shelter there is calm from the storm…I will sing in the midst of the storm…God is my hiding place, my shelter…”

We sang Your love over those who raised their hands and didn’t feel Your love. Jesus, I run to You, to the Rock, to Your love.

 

“The Lord is the Light that shines in the darkness..

He is my salvation, my salvation…”

Jesus, in whom there is no darkness at all. One day, You will be our Daylight. You will be the Sun that shines and there will be no darkness at all. We will not need sun nor moon; there will be no night.

Revelation 21:^{23 “}The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.”

“The Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom shall I fear, the Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?”

There are so many scriptures on light. Jesus, You are the light. The One True Shining One.

I love You…You made a way to save my soul, You’re my Redeemer, my Deliverer…

Jesus, thank You for Your light. Shine on me; shine on us. Let the light that is in You, the light of Your countenance shine on us and give us peace, Lord. Keep me strong in this dark world, keep me as a burning and shining lamp for You! Jesus, I’m not called to save the sins of this world or to bear the burdens of these people, though I feel them so strongly, that is You! You are the Savior! You are the Shining Lamp! You are the Burden-bearer!

God, my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, my Beloved One, Holy Spirit, my ever-present Comforter, my Guide, be with me. Guide me, lead me perfectly. Make me a light and a covenant.

“Why should I fear, why should I fear at all, for God is my strength, in whom I will trust…I put my trust in You, in You, I put my confidence, in You, I put my hope…”

 

 

 

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…

“Purify Your bride, like the snow is white!”

Jesus, show us Your heart for justice, Your heart of mercy, Your heart of love. Jesus, pull us up and out of sin! As an individual and as a nation. Lord Jesus, I plead the blood over my sins and the sins of my nation, send revival, end abortion, end injustice, end child slavery, end human trafficking, end killings at military bases. Oh Jesus, Jesus, come! The Spirit and the bride we are crying, come, Lord Jesus, come! Return to us!

We fast, we weep, we mourn, we pray, Oh God, come! Gird Your sword upon Your side, mighty One, ride on!

 

Jesus! You are fairer than…other than…

Song of Solomon

⁶ His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.

⁷ Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Oh, how You love me! Why do I forget so quickly? Why does my heart get distracted? Jesus, what can separate me from Your love? Death can’t and life can’t, angels can’t and demons can’t, the present can’t the future can’t, no power in all of creation can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus my Lord!! Why would I choose anyone else?

Jesus, charge me with Your power, to not have any other lovers. Catch for me the foxes, the little foxes that are trying to ruin my heart…the distractions, the withholding, the other lovers. Jesus, charge me with Your power, fill me up with it and let me not arouse or awaken love until it is ready! Jesus, awaken love in me for You, awaken my love for You, Jesus!

Let me feel it, make it real to me. Jesus, I love You. Strengthen me with Your power from on high in my inner man. Let me know the fullness of God that is in Christ Jesus!

Oh Lord, thank You for Your perspective. No matter how lonely, painful, sad, angry this life is, You are other than. You are above. And You bring me up to where You are! You don’t leave me, You don’t forsake me; it’s not in Your nature! You come alongside of me! I am more than a conqueror in You! I am an overcomer! I have overcome!!!! Jesus, I love, love, love You. Nothing can separate me from Your love and nothing will. I choose Your love, I choose to gaze back into the eyes of the uncreated One who created me out of love, for love, by love, in love. I am surrounded!!!

 

“Come play the strings of mine..”

“I want to play the strings of Your heart, God,..I dare to play the strings of Your heart..I want to sing straight to Your heart, God, come sing straight to mine, I dare to ask…”

As I sing, I realize how true these words are. You’ve been my true and constant only companion for this past year, for my whole life, but I’ve really known in this year.

“I’m so in love with You, I’m so in love with You, I’m so in love with You, Jesus…”

 

Prayer and intercession…

Jesus, I love to pray what’s on Your heart. I love to sing what’s on Your heart. I love to sing Your word back to You. Jesus, You are precious to my heart. Your friendship, it’s so wonderful. You are the Greatest Friend anyone could have! I thank You right now for Your friendship to me. In my weak moments, in my good moments, all in all, You’re my all in all.

Jesus, You’ve been teaching me what it means to be an intercessor. It means praying and standing in the gap, it means believing, it means having faith. It means praying without ceasing. It means bringing what’s on my heart to Your heart, before Your throne, over and over again. My prayers fuel Your angels, our prayers fuel what we are praying into action. Thank You for what is going on in the spiritual realm that I cannot see, but can feel. Some can see; I can’t yet. But I can feel what’s going on sometimes.  And I can sense what’s on Your heart.

Thank You, Jesus that this life in You keeps growing and changing. As I get to know You, there are so many facets to You! Jesus, I love it, though. I can’t say it enough, thank You for Your friendship!

I love Your heart.

Jesus, let us not reach heaven only to realize how many battles could’ve been won if for more prayer. Jesus, teach me to pray. I love You, I love Your heart.

Touch and heal Gavin, Jesus. Touch his 3 year old body, heal and recreate what needs to be healed and recreated. Let Your hand of peace be upon him. Thank You Jesus for his peaceful resting today!

 

Take me back to my First Love…

Jesus, I remember when You awakened me to Your love. Your perfect, pure, holy love like no other love. We love because You first loved us. I know how to love because You modeled it through giving up Your Son, Father, You gave Him up as a sacrifice, to redeem me from my sins. There was no hope for me! My sins were enough to condemn me to a life and eternal life of death. But Father, You sent Jesus to save me, to redeem me, to show me love. It was the greatest act of love ever! So I love because You loved me first.

^{1 John3:16} “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. ¹⁷If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him.”

The whole chapter of 1 John 3 is exactly what I’m talking about- wow. I was looking for the Scripture that says we love because He loved us first and I stumbled upon exactly what I was talking about!

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John+3&version=NIV

^{1 John 4:7} “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son^[b] into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for^[c] our sins. ¹¹Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹²No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

^{1 John4:19} “We love because he first loved us.”

Mm, I love how the Word says “God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” That means that the spirit of God that was released into us when Jesus went back up to Heaven, lives inside, dwells in us. In our bodies, physical bodies. I’m not sure how it all works, but I know I feel Him! The Holy Spirit, Jesus, the Father, three-in-one!

His love is made complete in us. When we love like He loves, His love is made complete in us. His love is made complete in us by us just being, even just sitting there, loving Him. Because He created us out of love, for love, to love.

These are good thoughts, beautiful yes. And the most wonderful part is that they are God’s truths because they are from His word! (The Scripture is truth, my thoughts, hopefully are truth, but are based on God’s truth!)

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17

 

The Author and Finisher of my faith…

You lead me perfectly,
You lead me wonderfully,
You will take hold of my hand,
Oh God.

You have called me in righteousness,
You have called me in truth,
You will take hold of my hand,
oh God.

I will keep you, keep you safe,
says the Lord,
I will make you a covenant,
and a light, a light!

I am God, your God,
I am Jesus Christ, your Holy Friend.

Glorious, true,
Righteous,
the True Leader who leads me,
Perfectly.

* I edited this after putting chords to it and making it into a song!! Whoo-hoo- thank You, Holy Spirit for words!

 

Kiss me with the kisses of Your word…

Jesus, I can feel You kissing me with the kisses of Your word. Pleasing is the fragrance, the fragrance of Your perfume. Your name is like perfume poured out,  no wonder the maidens love You.

Jesus, I’m thinking about what I am around all day. I’m reading Your Word:

Luke 12:

¹⁶And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. ¹⁷He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

¹⁸“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. ¹⁹And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ‘

That sounds like a good plan according to this world. Store it up, live off of it. But in eternity’s perspective..oh in eternity’s perspective!

Are we even supposed to build wealth? Or are we supposed to give it all away, living on barely any of it? Allowing God to build our wealth so we can give more away; sow into the Kingdom, that dollars can become souls?

This whole world screams, don’t worry, be happy, take life easy, eat, drink and be merry. But do they know the One who loves them to the depths of their soul? Who is like NONE other? Literally; you wanna talk unique? How about Someone who is UNcreated?! He’s so awesome, really. He’s my Love, my Best Friend. Jesus, You are, I love You and only You.

“Take me away with You, hurry now, take me away with You!”

The kisses of Your word- the times I read Your Word and it comes alive to me, when my heart pulses with life for reading the words on the page. They come alive! They make perfect sense and they are deep and complex, yet easy to understand. I love Your Word!

And Jesus, how cool are You? Remember Tuesday night? When You told me that I smelled like You? Haha! You’re funny! I want to smell like Your beautiful fragrance though, I want to look like You, act like You, talk like You, love like You, see like You, be like You. Jesus, I love You; I am lovesick, there’s no turning back. My heart has tasted and been satisfied and I can’t go back. Let me press into You, let me love You more! Will You let me love You more, Jesus?